Diplomatic Text
My dear Mrs Dickenson!
Many thanks for your kind, but
melancholy letter, which has indeed dis=
treʃsed me very much, for tho' I was I believe
more aware of my poor Aunt's dreadful state
than you were (not having seen her so lately
as myself) you I had not any idea she was
so bad as you represent her to be, I have
written three times to her since she left Ramsgate
& have had no answer to any of my letters
about a month ago I begged her to ask a friend of
mine at Bromley to write for her what she
did & at the same time told me she thought
her better. knowing the misery this receiving
& answering letters causes her I do not write
as frequently as I otherwise shou'd which I find
she sometimes thinks unkind. I wish to God
it was in my power to do any thing that cou'd
soothe & relieve her miserable situation, but I
fear it is impoʃsible, for as to our being often
must with her, I plainly see all the objections you
doe that I believe is what she most wishes &
what I doubt not wou'd be of service to her cou'd
we either of us bear it, but I aʃsure if I only
stay with for a few days & tho my spirits are
in general good I am perfectly wretched the
whole time I am with her. I am sorry Fanny
said she wou'd pay her a visit at Bath but My
Aunt made such a point of it that she was fearful
she might think her unkind if she were to
refuse, under the present circumstances I
do not see a poʃsibility of her doing it she must
therefore decline going in as delicate a man=
ner as she can, Fanny's visit to Mrs Fern having
been longer deferred than she expected (owing to Mrs
F's not being at liberty to receive her will of course
detain her longer in Town than she expected & as Mrs
F is far from well she may perhaps go to Chelten=
ham in the spring in that case Fanny will probably
go with her & by that time I hope something
will be settled relative to our Estate which will
enable her to think of settling herself in Northampton
for as that seems the plan she prefers & you are
so kind as to promise to do what you can towards
introducing her to some of your Friends I shou'd be
imensly sorry if any thing shou'd occur to prevent
her going there. I am now going to ask the advice of
yourself & Mr D upon a subject which has long dwelt
much upon my mind, you will know the kindneʃs
the Bishop & Mrs Horsley have ever shown me & which I can
with truth say encreases every day, & therefore I shou'd
be sorry to do any thing to distreʃs them but do you think
I ought or ought not to leave them when Fanny
settles at Northampton, much as I esteem my
kind Friends you will readily believe that my own
inclinations lead me to wish to live with my
dear Sister but believe me if I wou'd give up eve=
ry idea of it if you & Mr D think I shou'd be thought
to beacting unkindly towards the Bp & Mrs H. It may perhaps
be said by some of my Friends that I ought not to
give up my Sister for them, but in Mrs Horsley'
present state of health I fear she wou'd think me
ungrateful in leaving her -- I am sure you will
be very sorry to hear she has been very alarming-
ly these six weeks past & she still continues in a
most precarious state, it is thought she never
can recover this attack but I think she will for I
I have seen her as ill before, you will I fear
have some difficulty in decyphering this scrawl but
I am writing in her room to night that the nurse
may get a good nights rest, it is now past 3 o'clock
the rush light burning very dim & the mice run=
ning about the room so, that I like a Fool am frightened
tho' not so much as I was used to be at the Black Rats
that ran acroʃs ye dining Parlor at Leighton the first year
I spent with you, I know it is very absurd & I hope to
cured of my absurdity in two or three nights more
by getting accustomed to them, but at this moment
I feel as if they were crawling over me --
I have enclosed a letter for my Aunt but have
not taken any notice of having heard from
you, how kind you are in wishing her to lengthen
her stay with you for I am[1] your nerves are
not in a state to bear with her unfortunate
uncertainties, what a comfort wou'd it have be[en]
to us had either of the only near relations ------
have been in a situation that we might have enjoy=
ed each other's society but I fear thas is what we
may never dare look forward to, God grant my
poor Aunt Anna may not still be worse than
she now is, but I fear we must be prepared for
an event which will be far more dreadful
than a final release from her sufferings. by [I dr]ead seeing
her yet want it for indeed I have a very sincere
affection for her & am fully sensible of all her amiable
qualities & the great regard she has for us pray
remember me most afftly to Mr D & Louisa
& believe me your ever grateful & affte Goddaughter
Mary J Jackson
[4]
red text is normalised and/or unformatted in other panel)
Normalised Text
My dear Mrs Dickenson!
Many thanks for your kind, but
melancholy letter, which has indeed distressed
me very much, for though I was I believe
more aware of my poor Aunt's dreadful state
than you were (not having seen her so lately
as myself) I had not any idea she was
so bad as you represent her to be, I have
written three times to her since she left Ramsgate
& have had no answer to any of my letters
about a month ago I begged her to ask a friend of
mine at Bromley to write for her what she
did & at the same time told me she thought
her better. knowing the misery this receiving
& answering letters causes her I do not write
as frequently as I otherwise should which I find
she sometimes thinks unkind. I wish to God
it was in my power to do any thing that could
soothe & relieve her miserable situation, but I
fear it is impossible, for as to our being
must with her, I plainly see all the objections you
do that I believe is what she most wishes &
what I doubt not would be of service to her could
we either of us bear it, but I assure if I only
stay with for a few days & though my spirits are
in general good I am perfectly wretched the
whole time I am with her. I am sorry Fanny
said she would pay her a visit at Bath but My
Aunt made such a point of it that she was fearful
she might think her unkind if she were to
refuse, under the present circumstances I
do not see a possibility of her doing it she must
therefore decline going in as delicate a manner
as she can, Fanny's visit to Mrs Fern having
been longer deferred than she expected (owing to Mrs
Fern's not being at liberty to receive her will of course
detain her longer in Town than she expected & as Mrs
Fern is far from well she may perhaps go to Cheltenham
in the spring in that case Fanny will probably
go with her & by that time I hope something
will be settled relative to our Estate which will
enable her to think of settling herself in Northampton
for as that seems the plan she prefers & you are
so kind as to promise to do what you can towards
introducing her to some of your Friends I should be
immensely sorry if any thing should occur to prevent
her going there. I am now going to ask the advice of
yourself & Mr Dickenson upon a subject which has long dwelt
much upon my mind, you will know the kindness
the Bishop & Mrs Horsley have ever shown me & which I can
with truth say increases every day, & therefore I should
be sorry to do any thing to distress them but do you think
I ought or ought not to leave them when Fanny
settles at Northampton, much as I esteem my
kind Friends you will readily believe that my own
inclinations lead me to wish to live with my
dear Sister but believe me I would give up every
idea of it if you & Mr Dickenson think I should be
acting unkindly towards the Bishop & Mrs Horsley. It may perhaps
be said by some of my Friends that I ought not to
give up my Sister for them, but in Mrs Horsley'
present state of health I fear she would think me
ungrateful in leaving her -- I am sure you will
be very sorry to hear she has been very alarmingly
these six weeks past & she still continues in a
most precarious state, it is thought she never
can recover this attack but I think she will for I
have seen her as ill before, you will I fear
have some difficulty in decyphering this scrawl but
I am writing in her room to night that the nurse
may get a good nights rest, it is now past 3 o'clock
the rush light burning very dim & the mice running
about the room so, that I like a Fool am frightened
though not so much as I was used to be at the Black Rats
that ran across the dining Parlour at Leighton the first year
I spent with you, I know it is very absurd & I hope to
cured of my absurdity in two or three nights more
by getting accustomed to them, but at this moment
I feel as if they were crawling over me --
I have enclosed a letter for my Aunt but have
not taken any notice of having heard from
you, how kind you are in wishing her to lengthen
her stay with you for I am your nerves are
not in a state to bear with her unfortunate
uncertainties, what a comfort would it have been
to us had either of the only near relations ------
have been in a situation that we might have enjoyed
each other's society but I fear thas is what we
may never dare look forward to, God grant my
poor Aunt Anna may not still be worse than
she now is, but I fear we must be prepared for
an event which will be far more dreadful
than a final release from her sufferings. I dread seeing
her yet want it for indeed I have a very sincere
affection for her & am fully sensible of all her amiable
qualities & the great regard she has for us pray
remember me most affectionately to Mr Dickenson & Louisa
& believe me your ever grateful & affectionate Goddaughter
Mary Johanna Jackson
Mrs Dickenson
Leighton House
St. Asaph Bedfordshire
quotations, spellings, uncorrected forms, split words, abbreviations, formatting)
Notes
Metadata
Library References
Repository: John Rylands Research Institute and Library, University of Manchester
Archive: Mary Hamilton Papers
Item title: Letter from Mary Jackson to Mary Hamilton
Shelfmark: HAM/1/10/2/15
Correspondence Details
Sender: Mary Johanna Jackson
Place sent: Brighton
Addressee: Mary Hamilton
Place received: Leighton Buzzard
Date sent: 5 February 1805
Letter Description
Summary: Letter from Mary J. Jackson to Mary Hamilton, relating to her Aunt Anna.
She thanks Hamilton for her 'kind, but melancholy letter' and writes that
she had no idea that her aunt was in so bad a state and that she had
written to her three times and had received no reply. The letter
continues on her aunt's situation and on her concerns for her.
Original reference No. 16.
Length: 2 sheets, 970 words
Transliteration Information
Editorial declaration: First edited in the project 'Unlocking the Mary Hamilton Papers' (Hannah Barker, Sophie Coulombeau, David Denison, Tino Oudesluijs, Cassandra Ulph, Christine Wallis & Nuria Yáñez-Bouza, 2019-2023).
All quotation marks are retained in the text and are represented by appropriate Unicode characters. Words split across two lines may have a hyphen on the first, the second or both fragments (reco-|ver, imperfect|-ly, satisfacti-|-on); or a double hyphen (pur=|port, dan|=ger, qua=|=litys); or none (respect|ing). Any point in abbreviations with superscripted letter(s) is placed last, regardless of relative left-right orientation in the original. Thus, Mrs. or Mrs may occur, but M.rs or Mr.s do not.
Acknowledgements: Transcription and XML version created as part of project 'Unlocking the Mary Hamilton Papers', funded by the Arts & Humanities Research Council under grant AH/S007121/1.
Transliterator: Christine Wallis, editorial team (completed 25 September 2020)
Cataloguer: Lisa Crawley, Archivist, The John Rylands Library
Cataloguer: John Hodgson, Head of Special Collections, John Rylands Research Institute and Library
Copyright: Transcriptions, notes and TEI/XML © the editors
Revision date: 2 November 2021