Diplomatic Text
My dear Mrs Dickenson
You cannot but imagine that, that part of
your letter to Fanny which related to me has
given considerable uneasineʃs, not from any
consciousneʃs of having acted wrong but from the
idea that I have lost the friendship you have ever
Shown towards & which I can with sincerity aʃsure
you I shou'd ever have been most anxious to have
retained. With regard to my own Conduct
I can only say that whatever I have done has
proceeded from the motive of doing what
I thought right, therefore if I have erred it
has been through fear of having thought ungrate=
ful by those to whom I owed so much --
Had I left the Bishop immediately upon the
death of his Wife, when he was in the deepest
affliction for her loʃs, I cannot but think
it wou'd have appeared very unkind and
the more so, as at that time from circumstan-
ces in his own Family he was prevented having
either his Son or Daughter[2] with him; I confeʃs
I did not think the world cou'd be so illnatured
as to spread reports of the nature you allude to
about me, & it was still farther from my
thoughts to suppose any of my Friends wou'd
believe them, but altho' that seems to be the case
I do not think my reputation so far gone
as to make so great a sacrifice necceʃsary as marrying
a Man 50 years older than myself & I am sure
he will never dream of it for an instant -- I
believe he loves me with the affection of a Father
but as to any thing more that I will venture
to say never entered his head --
As to my being at present here I consider my=
self much more Mrs Horsley's visitor than
his, ever since I have known her we have
been upon the most intimate terms & I have
the strongest regard & affection for her & therefore
it is not unnatural for me to wish to spend
more time with her & as it was her wish also
& the Bishop's particular request I agreed to do it --
I do not imagine any thing I can say will
induce you to think otherwise than you do of any
Conduct in this instance & for that reason I
will not attempt it, but indeed I cannot
omit writing these lines to aʃsure you how
deeply I regret having been the cause (tho'
innocently) of losing the friendship (as I
fear I have) of persons I so much esteem
as yourself, Mr Dickenson & your dear Daughter
I trust you will believe me when I aʃsure you
that nothing can ever make me forget the
great kindneʃses I have received from you
& which believe me I have & ever shall feel
grateful to you all for -- I am most
sincerely sorry that what has happened shou'd
deprive me of such valuable Friends, yet
I will still hope that the time may come
when you will again call me your dear
Child, & think I have not acted so wrongly as you
now believe I have -- with the sincerest wishes
for the health & happineʃs to you all
Believe me
Yr ever affte & Obliged
M J Jackson
Palace St Asaph
Novbr 10th 1805[3]
red text is normalised and/or unformatted in other panel)
Notes
1. Originally catalogued with HAM/1/10/2/17/2 as part of a single document, HAM/1/10/2/17.
2. Presumably Frances Horsley (née Bourke), wife of Samuel Horsely's son Heneage. Samuel had a daughter called Harriott Horsley with his first wife (Mary Botham), but she died in infancy (see the ODNB entry for more information).
3. The dateline appears to the left of the closing salutation and signature.
Normalised Text
My dear Mrs Dickenson
You cannot but imagine that, that part of
your letter to Fanny which related to me has
given considerable uneasiness, not from any
consciousness of having acted wrong but from the
idea that I have lost the friendship you have ever
Shown towards & which I can with sincerity assure
you I should ever have been most anxious to have
retained. With regard to my own Conduct
I can only say that whatever I have done has
proceeded from the motive of doing what
I thought right, therefore if I have erred it
has been through fear of having thought ungrateful
by those to whom I owed so much --
Had I left the Bishop immediately upon the
death of his Wife, when he was in the deepest
affliction for her loss, I cannot but think
it would have appeared very unkind and
the more so, as at that time from circumstances
in his own Family he was prevented having
either his Son or Daughter with him; I confess
I did not think the world could be so ill-natured
as to spread reports of the nature you allude to
about me, & it was still farther from my
thoughts to suppose any of my Friends would
believe them, but although that seems to be the case
do not think my reputation so far gone
as to make so great a sacrifice necessary as marrying
a Man 50 years older than myself & I am sure
he will never dream of it for an instant -- I
believe he loves me with the affection of a Father
but as to any thing more that I will venture
to say never entered his head --
As to my being at present here I consider myself
much more Mrs Horsley's visitor than
his, ever since I have known her we have
been upon the most intimate terms & I have
the strongest regard & affection for her & therefore
it is not unnatural for me to wish to spend
more time with her & as it was her wish also
& the Bishop's particular request I agreed to do it --
I do not imagine any thing I can say will
induce you to think otherwise than you do of any
Conduct in this instance & for that reason I
will not attempt it, but indeed I cannot
omit writing these lines to assure you how
deeply I regret having been the cause (though
innocently) of losing the friendship (as I
fear I have) of persons I so much esteem
as yourself, Mr Dickenson & your dear Daughter
I trust you will believe me when I assure you
that nothing can ever make me forget the
great kindnesses I have received from you
& which believe me I have & ever shall feel
grateful to you all for -- I am most
sincerely sorry that what has happened should
deprive me of such valuable Friends, yet
I will still hope that the time may come
when you will again call me your dear
Child, & think I have not acted so wrongly as you
now believe I have -- with the sincerest wishes
for health & happiness to you all
Believe me
Your ever affectionate & Obliged
Mary Johanna Jackson
Palace St Asaph
November 10th 1805
quotations, spellings, uncorrected forms, split words, abbreviations, formatting)
Notes
Metadata
Library References
Repository: John Rylands Research Institute and Library, University of Manchester
Archive: Mary Hamilton Papers
Item title: Letter from Mary Jackson to Mary Hamilton
Shelfmark: HAM/1/10/2/17/1
Correspondence Details
Sender: Mary Johanna Jackson
Place sent: unknown
Addressee: Mary Hamilton
Place received: unknown
Date sent: 10 November 1805
Letter Description
Summary: Letter from Mary J. Jackson to Mary Hamilton, dated 10 November 1805, on
the subject of her supposed impropriety. Jackson writes that far from
acting wrongly, she always does what she feels to be right and that it
would not have been right to leave the Bishop [Horseley, possibly Samuel
Horseley (1733-1806)] 'after the death of his wife, when he was in the
deepest affliction for her loss'. She believes it would have been an
offence to leave him, more so as his son and daughter were unable to be
with him at that time. She did not suppose that her friends would think
it incorrect of her to be with a man who is over fifty years older than
her at such a time.
This item was originally catalogued together with HAM/1/10/2/17/2 as HAM/1/10/2/17.
Original reference No. 18.
Length: 1 sheet, 551 words
Transliteration Information
Editorial declaration: First edited in the project 'Unlocking the Mary Hamilton Papers' (Hannah Barker, Sophie Coulombeau, David Denison, Tino Oudesluijs, Cassandra Ulph, Christine Wallis & Nuria Yáñez-Bouza, 2019-2023).
All quotation marks are retained in the text and are represented by appropriate Unicode characters. Words split across two lines may have a hyphen on the first, the second or both fragments (reco-|ver, imperfect|-ly, satisfacti-|-on); or a double hyphen (pur=|port, dan|=ger, qua=|=litys); or none (respect|ing). Any point in abbreviations with superscripted letter(s) is placed last, regardless of relative left-right orientation in the original. Thus, Mrs. or Mrs may occur, but M.rs or Mr.s do not.
Acknowledgements: Transcription and XML version created as part of project 'Unlocking the Mary Hamilton Papers', funded by the Arts & Humanities Research Council under grant AH/S007121/1.
Transliterator: Tino Oudesluijs, editorial team (completed 25 September 2020)
Cataloguer: Lisa Crawley, Archivist, The John Rylands Library
Cataloguer: John Hodgson, Head of Special Collections, John Rylands Research Institute and Library
Copyright: Transcriptions, notes and TEI/XML © the editors
Revision date: 28 April 2023